I've been re-reading parts of a book by Alice Miller, the Swiss psychoalanalyst, which made a big impression on me when I discovered it in the 1980s. She talks about how the true (psychological) self never develops in a child whose life depends on being pleasing to the primary caregiver.
In the Direct Path, which has been the one that worked for me, all of the psychological conflict one has lived with simply gets by-passed and one finds that ultimate oneness and peace beyond understanding. Rumi said, "I'll meet you there" in the field beyond right and wrong. That's nice, but the important thing is to meet oneself there. But then what? Because that psychological conflict doesn't just magically melt away -- at least not for most people.
In his earlier years of teaching, sometimes someone newly awakened would ask Adyashanti why, since s/he had just realized ultimate truth, s/he was now in such psychological conflict and suffering, maybe only a couple of weeks after awakening. And Adya would say, "You came back for it." Sometimes he'd add, "You wouldn't want to leave that behind, would you?" By "you," he meant the Compassion one has now come to embody, which sees the suffering soul with its history of neglect or abuse or whatever, and knows that that is already part of the Whole, that it doesn't need to be excluded or denied, that everything is embraced.
And as I read Alice Miller now, that compassion in me for the small child is there and alive, and knows the truth of this.