A new model for a nondual community

Things have been changing -- inside, I mean. For a couple of years I was part of a small group which went very deep. We spoke from the depth of Being and we gazed into each other's souls. I had always wanted this, came to wonder if it were possible, and then I found it. And now the group members have moved on, and I find that is all right. Whatever I needed from it, I got my fill, and I too feel ready for what comes next.

I no longer feel the need to seek out people with whom I can have a "deep" experience -- no longer believe that I can only have satisfying spiritual connections in this way. I am open to whomever shows up. A meeting that is not "deep" today may be deep with the same person tomorrow. Each encounter is unique.

So, I'm thinking about a nondual spiritual community in which people of all degrees of experience in nonduality can come together.  At the same time, I haven't found a community I'm completely comfortable with. I've always been reluctant to be part of an organization where there is a "teacher" on the one hand, and "students" on the other; or, in the more traditional parlance, a "guru" on the one hand, and "disciples" on the other. I've also felt something was wrong about asking for money for the Teachings.

But I haven't been able to articulate very well why these things bother me -- until now:

Everyone is ALREADY the complete embodiment of Truth, although they may not be conscious of it yet. And how does one become conscious of it? Of course, it's different for different people, and often it's some combination of meditation, a teacher, reading, retreats, etc. But all of this amounts to SEEKING that which one already is, however much one may ignore that fact. And having a teacher sitting in front of the room, whom one has paid to teach what one already knows, reinforces the idea that some know Truth and others need to learn it. This can become a habit. And each time there is a realization, the mind goes, "Oh, see, this is working. I'm getting more and more enlightened!" And so each success reinforces the methods one is using and the search.

I'm not saying there is no place for this, nor for the projection onto the teacher than usually accompanies this search. But I think it usually continues too long. And the reason for that is that the "seekers" have no other way to experience their deeper being than the methods of seeking they are  familiar with.

But what if there were another way? What if people who are waking up could have a chance to speak from that which is awake in them -- not as teachers, but as fellow travelers on the journey? What if we could all be students and teachers to each other -- even while recognizing that some may be farther along on the path than others? What if, that is, we could exercise the "awakeness muscle" well and often? We could then know through experience, and not just as an idea, that we embody that which we have been seeking.


The model for this community is explained on a separate page oo this blog. See above.

Awakeness vs Awareness

This blog's name indicates something about what my own path has been.  The sudden awakenings that are part of a number of traditions, such as Rinzai Zen, have been a big part of it.  But there are those who say this whole idea of "awakening" is fraught with illusion because, for one thing, it obscures the fact that consciousness is already awake, and for another, because it implies a goal, or a number of goals -- the time when one will awaken, or awaken more deeply, in the future -- whereas enlightenment is the eternal present.

And yes, both of those criticisms are valid.  And some people, for that reason, are more comfortable starting with the basic truth that there isn't anywhere to get in the first place, that it was all already here.  In Soto Zen (from what I know -- I've never done it) sitting itself is enlightenment.  Of course, it could as easily be said, then, that anything we do is equally enlightenment.

So why not start with the basic truth and skip over the seeking and finding and losing it and finding it again until the truth that it is what we are is finally realized?  I say, if skipping all that works, sure, by all means do it.  And by "if it works" I mean, if it solve the problem of what it is to be human.  If one feels at rest and really doesn't need to seek anymore.

Because it's tricky, isn't it?  "I won't seek because I know that's not where it's at.  I'll just be present all the time," one might say.  Well, good luck.  Just more seeking, right?  Because for most human beings, "being present all the time" isn't something that comes naturally.  Especially since, before awakening, we don't really know what being present truly is.

So, when we're meditating -- and that doesn't just mean formal meditation but any time the mind isn't busy with its stories -- sometimes a space comes between thoughts and we just are awareness.  We just are, just exist -- and there are no boundaries of self at that moment.  But that passes and its significance often goes unrecognized.  Why?  Because what awakening does is more than that.  Awareness is a door, but awakening is seeing that the door we have passed through is the door between illusion and reality.  Now we know, for the first time, that thoughts aren't real.  Before, we thought we knew that; we thought everyone knew that -- but now we really know what that means.  And once we know that, then we understand also that, even when thoughts come back in and busy themselves making stories about our lives, they aren't real stories.

So, truly, I'm thinking this out as I write, but where I've come to is that awareness is that vantage point where we don't filter our experience through thoughts (and "we" and "our" are just grammatical necessities because the reality is that there is no self at that moment).  But if there is not complete awakening, then when thoughts come back in, they are believed again.  Each time we rest in awareness, though, the thoughts may become less solid-seeming, more transparent.  We may become awake even though we have never awakened!